Workplace GBV: Activity 2
Best Practices for Receiving Disclosures from Survivors
Remember:
“It is not what’s wrong with her/them, it is what has happened to her/them.”
All responses to sexual assault are adaptive attempts to survive the traumatic experience or its memory, both physically and emotionally.
These responses can be particularly complex for survivors who have experienced early and/or repeated trauma.
You might hear a range of experiences and observe a range of emotional responses during a disclosure of sexual assault.
It can be very difficult to disclose because survivors:
May be confused about what happened and if it was really “that bad.”
Fear for their safety and not be able to respond or recount everything perfectly
Feel conflicted about disclosing information if it is a person they know intimately (friend, partner, family, co-worker, boss, teacher, mentor)
Fear of involving the police
Fear of re-living the event
If there were drugs or alcohol involved they may feel scared to tell you because they don’t want to be judged
There is real and reaffirmed fear that they will not be believed.
They may depend on our job to live and cannot afford to lose it.
They are afraid to be blamed.
Example Script Options
I believe you; I am sorry this happened.
Many HR and AHL have asked this question: “If I say I believe you, what if they are lying, don’t I give the defendant the innocent until proven guilty approach?”
No. You are not a judge or jury.
You are responsible for collecting documentation and statements.
You have the capacity to say “I believe you” and if you don’t perhaps go back to the beginning of this portal to GBV 101 and spend time listening to survivors and challenging your unconscious bias. If you need stats here are some.
This is not your fault and I am here to listen to you/support you.
I can see/feel how hard this must be, we can take a break or pause.
Would you like to call someone for support? Would you like to go take a walk? Would you like some water? How can I support you right now?
Are you feeling safe right now to talk or share? Do we need a safety plan before we continue?
In the chatbox, you can type “Do you feel safe at home right now to talk about this?” This is especially important to ask if you are providing online support to Survivors. Survivors may be living at home with their abusers.
If the survivor says no, I do not feel safe at home but I want to disclose or report to you, there are two procedures you can follow:
Tell them to stay on the video or phone call with you and connect them to a crisis worker or crisis centre, they can safety plan with that survivor immediately.
Tell them to stay on the video and phone call with you and show them a signal for safety, (link to our guide) this can look like a thumbs down, tapping your nose twice, or anything else you two come up with.
You will instruct the survivor to initiate this signal for safety if they are in danger during your call or video call. Then you will ask them: if they use the signal, what would they like you to do?
When the survivor initiates the signal for safety, follow your safety plan with them asap.
Do you want to make a report or a disclosure?
There is a huge difference between reporting and receiving disclosures.
Do you want me to write this down or record this for you?
Are you familiar with the workplace policy and how we conduct investigations and perform resolutions?
Do you know what your legal options are?
Do you know what resources or supports you need or are interested in?
We recommend that all employers designate 5 to 10 paid emergency GBV leave for employees. You can read more in our Don’t Rebuild on our Backs Report.
Do you understand the timelines and process we just went over?
I want to make sure you are informed and if you have any other questions I can answer them now or even later.
Can I follow up with you? How can I support you further?
Please do NOT do the following:
Do not ask the survivor what she/they were wearing.
Do not ask them if they are “sure” it happened.
Do not say “Oh I know him! I can’t believe he would do that, he’s always been so nice to me.”
Do not say “I promise you will get justice.”
Do not say “I know what you should do.”
Do not ask them if they had too much to drink, or tell them if they used drugs that it was their fault.
Do not pressure the survivor to disclose to you details if they are not ready.
Do not try to coerce the survivor into reporting to the police or any other system unless they know all the facts and make the decision themselves.
Do not share the survivor’s story with your friends or in online groups.
Do not share personal information about the survivor.
Do not make judgments or assumptions about a survivor due to their race, class, ability, status or any other intersection of identity.
Do not perpetuate violence against survivors who are seeking your support.
Do not discourage survivors from harm reduction or reducing this keeps people alive.
Do not tell an Indigenous survivor they cannot smudge, cleanse or ground with medicines in their space or your collective space.
Did you know?
If the survivor needs translation or support in their preferred language, or if the survivor needs ASL interpretation or other accessibility and accommodation requests: you are responsible to accommodate these requests as part of Ontario’s Human Rights Code, which states:
Under the Code, employers and unions, housing providers and service providers have a legal duty to accommodate the needs of people with disabilities who are adversely affected by a requirement, rule or standard. Accommodation is necessary to ensure that people with disabilities have equal opportunities, access and benefits. The duty to accommodate is informed by three principles: respect for dignity, individualization, as well as integration and full participation.
Important Reminders
Bill 132 and your Anti-Harassment and Sexual Violence policy
Follow your workplace policy. If you disagree with a process or resolution ensure that you are taking this up with management, ownership or the board first – not with the survivor in the moment.
Have your resources and steps in order.
Listen, respond, support, empower then ASK.
Tip: Rebuild and repair the culture of safety and consent.
Following up with staff not involved:
It is super important you do not disclose information that is private or confidential.
It is important you check in with the rest of your team, don’t ignore them or leave them out of knowing if their workplace is safer or needs support.
You can provide ongoing learning, training, workshops for your staff. You are creating a culture of safety and consent, this doesn't mean perfection, it means prevention and response.
Challenge for anyone receiving disclosures or offering survivor supports
You should feel comfortable knowing at least
One or two shelter services online or in your area
One or two sexual or domestic abuse crisis lines
One or two legal supports for survivors
One or two hospitals nearby
One or two mental health supports
How many days or how long they can take time off work
What the survivor’s legal options and rights are
Safety planning for high-risk situations (Stalking, domestic violence, repeat behaviour, etc.)