Empowered Bystander Intervention: Activity 1

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EBI Reflection Activity

Making the Connections

We truly believe that all people have the capacity to recognize, prevent and respond to sexual/gender-based violence. 

This activity hopes to encourage meaning-making through reflection, facts and resources. Grab a notebook and a pen to write down your answers.

Tip for Employers: If you work in an industry or with a group that works with the public or large groups, consider having at least (3) written bystander intervention practices that you would like staff to apply to prevention and response techniques. This encourages staff to apply the techniques with the support of the organization and workplace culture.

You cannot expect staff to be empowered bystanders without institutional support.

 

Let’s begin with these reflection questions.

  1. Do you consider yourself an ally to survivors and women/non-binary people?

  2. Why do you want to learn ways to prevent or respond to sexual/gender-based violence?

 

Why don’t people intervene more?

It is not my responsibility. 

I just don’t want to go there. 

I don’t want to make things worse. 

I don’t feel safe. 

I don’t know what to do or say.

I don’t want to get in trouble.

I don’t get into other people’s business.

I don’t think there is anything wrong.

What do you think?

What skills do you have to apply to EBI?

A few example skills to inspire you:

  • Non-negating communication skills (know how to use “and” not but)

  • De-escalation skills (you can use language and distraction to de-escalate)

  • Solution-oriented

  • Proactive

  • Empathetic

  • Good understanding of sexual harassment/violence

  • Training

What challenges and barriers do you anticipate when applying EBI?

For example:

  • Reaction-based responses. These are always going to happen, recognizing our triggers and setting boundaries can help us mitigate the types of reactions or responses we have in situations of crisis or harm

  • Lack of skills around de-escalation.

  • Identity. Place the responsibility on allies with more assumed power or privilege.

 

Check in with yourself and your skills or needs

This is called creating a roadmap to your strengths and your barriers to intervention. For example:

 

Challenge

I don’t really know or understand what sexual harassment looks or sounds like.

Solution

I am going to __. I will find more information from __. I will listen to survivors' stories from this portal.

Pledge to Action

I will call in my friend Dan who always calls girls “baby” at work and explain why that is sexual harassment.

And the final and most important question:

Do you know what gender-based violence looks like?

“A man approached my wife at a bar and asked to buy her a drink. She politely said no and began to walk back to our table. The man grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back to the bar. I stepped in and told him to back off. He said, “woah buddy, I was just trying to be nice.” I think he crossed a line but I feel like I overreacted because he wasn’t being violent or anything.”
— Safer Bars and Spaces Participant, Matt, Age 34

  • What do you think?

  • How do you feel about how Matt reacted?

  • What would you do similarly or differently?

  1. What can/does gender-based violence look like? Examples: Grabbing someone by the wrist as they walk by. Cornering someone so they have to squeeze by you, is that violent?

  2. When do we intervene and how, is there a difference in your approach to intervention with family and friends than with co-workers or strangers?

  3. What can/does accountability look like in that moment for the victim/survivor?

 
 
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